ADHD Resources
ADHD Support for Adults, Women in Midlife & Couples
ADHD is not a character flaw. It is a neurodevelopmental difference that affects attention regulation, impulse control, emotional processing, and executive functioning.
In adults, especially women, ADHD is often misdiagnosed as anxiety, depression, burnout, or “being too much.”
In relationships, ADHD is frequently misinterpreted as lack of effort, selfishness, or emotional immaturity.
When we understand ADHD through a nervous system and attachment lens, shame decreases and clarity increases.
Below is a curated starting place.
Many adults discover ADHD later in life. Common signs include:
• Chronic overwhelm despite high intelligence
• Time blindness and difficulty initiating tasks
• Emotional intensity or rejection sensitivity
• Cycles of hyperfocus followed by shutdown
• Relationship patterns of pursuer–withdrawer dynamics
• Burnout from masking or overcompensating
Self-Screening Tools:
• Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS)
• CHADD.org CHADD.org
• ADDitudeMag.com Assess your symptoms
If you suspect ADHD, a formal evaluation through a licensed clinician or psychiatric provider is recommended.
ADHD in Women & Midlife
Hormonal shifts often amplify executive dysfunction, emotional reactivity, and fatigue. Many women are not diagnosed until their 30s, 40s, or 50s.
Highly recommended reading:
ADHD 2.0 – Hallowell & Ratey BOOK
Accessible neuroscience overview with practical framing.
A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD – Solden & Frank BOOK
Excellent for identity reconstruction and shame healing.
Your Brain’s Not Broken – Tamara Rosier BOOK
Compassionate reframing for productivity struggles.
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder – Sari Solden CD AUDIO
Foundational work on internalized symptoms in women.
These are a starting point. More information is not always better. Integration matters more than consumption. There are also more books that were hand-picked below.
ADHD & Relationships
ADHD affects memory, follow-through, emotional regulation, and conflict repair. Without understanding the neurobiology, couples often fall into painful dynamics:
• One partner becomes the manager
• The other feels criticized or inadequate
• Both feel unseen
Recommended reading:
The ADHD Effect on Marriage – Melissa Orlov BOOK
Explains common relational patterns clearly.
Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD? – Gina Pera BOOK
Excellent psychoeducation for both partners.
If this resonates, structured support can prevent years of resentment.
Learn more about ADHD Couples Intensives → INTENSIVES
Nervous System & Trauma-Informed ADHD Support
ADHD and trauma frequently overlap. Many adults with ADHD have experienced chronic nervous system dysregulation from early environments that required masking or high performance.
Helpful approaches include:
• Brainspotting
• Polyvagal-informed regulation work
• Somatic grounding practices
• Mindfulness-based stress reduction
• Structured body doubling sessions
Regulation precedes productivity. Safety precedes sustainable change.
If you are interested in deeper nervous system work, explore ADHD Intensives → ADHD INTENSIVE
Practical Tools for Daily Support
Use tools selectively. More systems often increase overwhelm.
Body Doubling:
• Focusmate
• Structured co-working sessions
Time & Planning:
• Visual timers
• Paper planners with minimal layout
• Time blocking with only 3 priority tasks per day
Environment:
• White noise apps
• Noise-canceling headphones
• Clutter reduction through “micro-zones”
Choose one tool at a time. Test for 30 days.
Podcasts Worth Listening To (Start with One)
• ADHD for Smart Ass Women PODCAST LINK
The ADHD Parenting Podcast PODCAST LINK
Translating ADHD for Black Girls PODCAST LINK
ADDittude Magazine PODCAST LINK
Avoid binge consuming. Apply what you learn. Set a timer for how much you research, then take action. START WITH ONE.
When to Seek Professional Support
Consider therapy or intensives if:
• ADHD is affecting your marriage
• You feel chronically behind despite effort
• Emotional reactivity is harming connection
• You suspect trauma is intertwined
• You are exhausted from masking
You do not need more willpower. You may need regulation, structure, and relational repair.
I provide ADHD therapy for adults and couples in Arizona, Iowa, and Oregon through secure telehealth and in-person sessions.
Explore Working Together →